Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Dr. John Schinnerer, host of Guide To Self radio, speaks with Charlene Proctor, author of Let Your Goddess Grow! Charlene speaks out on female empowerment, the lure of What the Bleep Do We Know and the need to cultivate the female divine. Find out how to improve your self-image as a woman, what men really want from women and much more.


Guide to Self radio airs on KDIA 1640 AM in San Francisco, CA. More shows are available on http://www.guidetoself.com. Dr. John Schinnerer
is available as time permits for individual life coaching towards a happy and passionate life at (925) 944-3440. Keynote speaking
engagement inquiries for Dr. John can be directed to Info@GuideToSelf.com.
Duration:27 minutes, 56 seconds


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Monday, January 30, 2006

Life Leeches - This Week on Guide To Self Radio with Dr. John Schinnerer

Guide To Self is Life Affirming Talk Radio
This Week on Guide To Self 1640 AM at 5:00 pm
http://www.guidetoself.com
http://www.kdia.com

• Monday, January 30th, 5 pm: Charlene Proctor, PhD, author of Let Your Goddess Grow! 7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking.

• Tuesday, January 31st, 5 pm: Dr. John Schinnerer on Top Ways to Deal with People who Exhaust You, or Life Leeches!

• Wednesday, February 1st, 5 pm: Dr. John Schinnerer on Top Ways to Deal with People who Exhaust You, or Life Leeches! Part 2

• Thursday, February 2nd: Ongoing positive psychology coaching with Katie regarding Life Leeches.

• Friday, February 3rd: Ongoing coaching with Amy on the best ways to deal with people who drain your energy and never return any.

Visit us today at www.GuideToSelf.com. Past shows are available on a wide variety of topics at our interviews page.

Guide To Self, Inc. | Alamo | 94507 | (925) 944.3440 | GuideToSelf.com

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Life Leeches - People that Drain Your Energy, Part 2.

Part 2 in an ongoing series on Life Leeches: Everyone of us knows one, a person who leaves you drained, exhausted and miserable after every encounter. They're called Life Leeches - people who drain you of your most precious commodity - your energy. Life Leeches create barriers to a happy life. They don't want you to be happy because they aren't happy.

There are at least 14 types of Life Leeches of which you need to be aware. The Volcanic Leech, the Malicious Life Leeches (i.e., the dangerous Antisocial Leech and the Empty Shell Leech), the Oblivious Leech, the Whining Leech and more.

Find out about the various types of Leeches AND how to identify them so they don't drain you of your strength and patience. Guide To Self Radio is hosted by Dr. John Schinnerer, a psychologist out of U.C. Berkeley.

More shows are available at http://www.guidetoself.com/interviews.htm.
Dr. John is available for coaching and keynote speaking engagments at (925) 944-3440.
Duration:27 minutes, 48 seconds


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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Types of Life Leeches - People who Suck You Dry

People Who Suck…You Dry:
Life Leeches, Energy Vampires and Toxic People
Dr. John Schinnerer
DrJohn@GuideToSelf.com
Guide To Self Radio
http://www.guidetoself.com/

Life leeches and energy Life Leeches – people who suck…the energy right out of you!  There are more than a dozen types of Life Leeches.     None of the Life Leech labels are necessarily a life sentence. So you want to keep the door open because the possibility exists in many cases that the Life Leech can change for the better. Remember the human brain has the ability to make new pathways and grow new brain cells throughout our lifespan. This means that every day is a new opportunity to recreate who you are and how you treat other people.
So focus on what you can control – your actions, your feelings, your thoughts. Foster forgiveness and compassion. Take good care of yourself. And treat everyone around you with respect and dignity.
So here are the types of Life Leeches to lookout for…

  • There is the Whining Leech who always wants to complain but never looks for a solution.

  • The Judgmental Leech who casts a judgmental finger at everyone but himself.

  • The Drama Leech who is overwhelmed by life and treats even minor crises as major catastrophes.

  • The Non-stop Talker who takes 6 hours to tell you that he is short on words.

  • The Advice Junkie who complains and seeks out advice, yet never implements one potential solution.

  • The Sprinting Leech who runs from any and all confrontation.

  • The Oblivious Life Leech who is anyone who sucks energy from you without knowing it. This is an innocent type of Life Leech but one you need to be aware of in terms of your overall energy level. Any of you who have children know what I’m talking about here – kids can suck your energy from you in a matter of minutes with a good tantrum.

  • The Two Types of Malicious Life Leeches

  • Antisocial Life Leech. This type is not antisocial in terms of disliking company. Rather they are antisocial in the sense that he has no regard for society’s rules, personal boundaries, values, or the feelings of others. He is distrustful of others and suspicious of coworkers. He has a pessimistic outlook and frequently takes statements out of context and twists other people’s words until they are unrecognizable.  A dangerous leech.

  • The Empty Shell Life Leech feels things very deeply, lacks a sense of self, and sees people as all good or all bad. They fill themselves up with what you are doing, thinking or feeling. You don’t want to fall into the all bad category or this Life Leech will make your life miserable. A dangerous leech.

  • The Volcanic Life Leech, one of the scariest Life Leeches due to their angry outbursts, you never know when they will explode and you don’t know exactly where you stand with them. They are expert at hiding their feelings. And when they blow, there is often a fear that they may become physically violent. The volcano is always filled with inner fury. They keep a long list of the injustices done to them. They never forget a slight.

  • The Emotional Ice Cube, They show no emotion. The ice cube has no emotional awareness. They do not know how they are perceived by other people. They are totally numb. You may get the feeling as if you want to take them by the arms and shake them.

  • The Self-Loving Life Leech, This Life Leech loves to talk with other people – about themselves. They usually talk a great deal – about themselves. Deep down, in their core, they are fearful, insecure and feel unworthy. Their goal is to impress you with their experience, knowledge, travels, accomplishments or skill.

  • The Browbeating Bullying Leech.
I think everyone had their own personal bully growing up. Unfortunately, some bullies never grow up. They continue their bullying ways right into adulthood, using intimidation to get what they want.
The browbeating bully tends to use a loud voice and close physical quarters to scare you into giving them whatever it is they want. When you make a mistake, the bully leech will yell at you to correct it. When you call them on their mistake, the bully will yell at you and tell you that you make mistakes also. The bully loves to watch you sweat and fret.
How do you get out of that position?
Don’t buy into their game. You can give them back a taste of their own medicine by standing up to them and refusing to be intimidated. Using your deep breathing, remind yourself that you will not stand for bullying. Put your hands on your hips and in a loud and firm voice, tell them “Stop. You sound as if you are trying to get what you want by yelling at me. That may work with other people, but I don’t appreciate being yelled at as I was your four year old child.” This will typically cause them to respect you and back off the yelling game. Normally, just calling them on their game is enough to snap them out of their little drama.
There are specific ways to deal with each type of life leech. Stay tuned in to Guide To Self Radio to find out tips to deal with each type.
Dr. John Schinnerer
Guide To Self Radio

A frank chat with coaching client, Amy, about the types of life leeches in her life and how to deal with each kind. Part of an ongoing series on Life Leeches and Energy Vampires.

Everyone of us knows one, a person who leaves you feeling exhausted and negative, after every encounter. They're called Life Leeches - people who suck...you dry. Life Leeches create barriers to a happy life. They are miserable and they want you right there with them.

There are more than a dozen kinds of Life Leeches of which you need to be aware. The Whining Leech, the Drama Queen, the Sprinting Leech, the Antisocial Leech, the Oblivious Leech, the Empty Shell Leech, the Advice Junkie Leech and more.

Find out about the various types of Leeches AND how to identify them so they don't drain you of your vitality. Guide To Self Radio is hosted by Dr. John Schinnerer, a psychologist out of U.C. Berkeley. More shows are available at http://www.guidetoself.com/interviews.htm.
Duration:27 minutes, 21 seconds.

Dr. John Schinnerer can be heard daily Monday through Friday on Guide To Self radio on KDIA 1640 AM at 5 pm in the SF Bay Area.


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Everyone of us knows one, a person who leaves you feeling drained, exhausted and negative, after every encounter. They're called Life Leeches - people who suck...you dry. Life Leeches create barriers to a happy life. They don't want you to be happy because they aren't happy.

There are at least 14 types of Life Leeches of which you need to be aware. The Volcanic Leech, the Emotional Ice Cube, the Sprinting Leech, the Antisocial Leech, the Oblivious Leech, the Empty Shell Leech, the Advice Junkie Leech and more.

Find out about the various types of Leeches AND how to identify them so they don't drain you of your vitality. Guide To Self Radio is hosted by Dr. John Schinnerer, a psychologist out of U.C. Berkeley.
More shows are available at http://www.guidetoself.com/interviews.htm.
Duration:27 minutes, 21 seconds


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Monday, January 23, 2006

Sexual addictions: The insidious destroyer of trust

If there is one thing upon this earth that mankind love and admire better than another, it is a brave man, -- it is the man who dares to look the devil in the face and tell him he is a devil.

-- James A. Garfield

Sexual Addictions and Marital Infidelity

I'm working on today's radio show. The show is on sexual addiction, marital infidelity and spousal betrayal. Really, the show is on addiction because an addiction is an addiction is an addiction. You can argue the subtle nuances of how different addictions are best treated.

Yet, humans are driven to pursue pleasure and avoid pain. Two basic motivations. Addictions are basically a pleasurable chemical rush inside the body that occur due to thoughts, feelings or actions. When we get locked into a pattern of repeating destructive thoughts or behaviors, we are addicted.

We can be addicted to anything and everything - sex, alcohol, heroin, cocaine, marijuana, excitement, adrenaline, anger, stress, worry, fear, inflexibility, power, you name it. We can be addicted to behaviors, thoughts OR feelings.

Take heroin, for example, one of the most addictive substances on the planet, right alongside crack and nicotine. When you look closely at how heroin works inside the body's cells, you see the injected heroin dock with the opiate receptors of individual cells. These are the exact same receptors that were designed to receive endorphins which are normally created via things like exercise, sex, deep breathing and positive emotions. Rather than receive the body's natural endorphins, the cell takes in the heroin molecules and that cell grows to need the heroin. Over time, more heroin is needed to produce the same perceived high.

When a particular cell is bathed in heroin for a long time or repeatedly, it's receptors shrink and it becomes less sensitive to the same amount of heroin or endorphins. This creates what we know as tolerance. The same amount of heroin is no longer sufficient to produce the desired high.

Here comes the wild part. Whether you are talking about heroin or cocaine, or anger or fear, it's the same underlying chemical process. You can be addicted to your emotions. Feelings create peptides, or molecules of emotion as Dr. Candace Pert calls them. These emotion peptides dock with the receptors on each cell. With intense or chronic feelings, the cell begins to need or crave the same emotions over and over. And just as with heroin, your cells build up a tolerance to these peptides, or molecules of emotion.

For example, if you are addicted to anger, then you will gradually need either more intense anger (i.e., rage) or need to become angry more often, in order to satisfy the cravings of your body and it's cells. And a self-perpetuating cycle is born.

Hard to imagine? I know. But it makes so much sense.

Do you have any of these in your life?

Destructive, negative feelings (short-term)or moods (long-term). These might include sadness, anger, irritability, fear, anxiety, stress, depression, resentment, disappointment, shame or guilt.

Encountering the same negative situations over and over.

An inability to change your self or your life.

A perceived inability to create a new life or pattern.

Yearning for certain emotions.

Looking for things to dull your pain.

Swearing you'll never do something again. And then you find yourself doing that same behavior again in an hour, a day or a week.

Emotions are addictive. And I believe they lie at the base of all our other addictions - sex, drugs, alcohol, and more.

Find out more by listening to todays Guide To Self radio show on KDIA 1640 AM at 5 pm (PST). Listen live on the internet at http://www.KDIA.com.

Past shows on similar topics can be found at http://www.guidetoself.com/interviews.htm.

Begin a new life today. The first step is the desire to change.

Have a wonderful day!

Dr. John Schinnerer
Radio Show Host
Guide To Self Radio
http://www.guidetoself.com/




Guide To Self(C) 2005-06.
Guide To Self is sponsored in part by Infinet Assessment, the best in pre-employment testing. Please support their efforts at http://www.infinetassessment.com.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Some exciting news from the Mount Sinai School of Medicine (one of the top medical schools in the world) about resiliency. Dr. Dennis Charney recently presented critical new information as a result of his studies with Prisoners Of War (POWs). Dr. Charney has spent years looking at how at soldiers who fought in the Vietnam war, were taken prisoner, tortured and beaten for 6-8 years, and came out of it psychologically healthy. How do you manage that? That very information is shared in the second half of this show. Dr. John Schinnerer on Guide To Self Radio. KDIA 1640 AM Monday - Friday at 5 pm. www.GuideToSelf.com Dr. John is available to help increase your resiliency at (925) 944-3440.
Call today!


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Monday, January 16, 2006

Uncover the Potential of the Human Heart and Mind - Your Heart

A recent show about the immense power contained within the human heart. This information will change your view of the world around you and within you. The heart has a mini-brain. The heart creates the largest field of energy within the body. Some tools of measurement claim our energy emanates (sp?) to be 10 feet outside of the body. How do you get the brain in synch with the heart? That is the key!

Dr. John Schinnerer on Guide to Self radio - KDIA 1640 AM. http://www.Guidetoself.com

PS The baby is well. Molly is an angel. There is always a line of people waiting to hold her. Mostly - my first three children. God forbid, you cut in line! :>)

What a miracle, she is.

Guide To Self(C) 2005-06

How Could You Possibly Heal From Betrayal, Sexual Addiction, Marital Infidelity?!

Okay, I'm trying out some new free uploading firm, http://www.yourfilelink.com.

http://www.yourfilelink.com/get.php?fid=5835

So, I THINK this is the link to the file on sexual addiction show done with Linda Walker from Community Presbyterian Church in Danville.


Apparently, infidelity is quite common these days. A lot of interest in this show. A lot of pain. A lot of sorrow.

Key here is to reassure yourself (over and over and over) that things WILL look better eventually.

Here is a new show on the immense power of the human heart. How to synch the brain with the heart and emotions.

http://www.freefileupload.net/file.php?file=files/170106/1137499205/GuideToSelf1-12-06HeartEnergy.mp3



Dr. John Schinnerer
Guide To Self.com
Coaching for Life
DrJohn@GuideToSelf.com


InSPIRE
Guide To Self(C) 2005.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

What is sexual addiction? What are the various types? How do you break the cycle of addiction? How do you respond when your spouse sexually betrays you? Infidelity, masturbation, fantasy, internet pornography, chatrooms and more are discussed in this candid conversation between Dr. John Schinnerer and Linda Walker, who runs a women's support group for sexual betrayal.

Show originally aired on Guide To Self radio on KDIA 1640 AM in the San Francisco Bay Area. Dr. John may be reached for coaching or keynote speaking engagements at (925) 944-3440.
http://www.GuideToSelf.com.
Duration:27 minutes, 31 seconds


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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Are you a controlling person?
Do you have a little perfectionism in you?
Would you rather avoid your feelings?
Do you get ill because of
your stress?
Are you distrustful of others?

A 'yes' answer to any of these questions is an indicator of codependency. Codependency occurs on a spectrum and occurs when we care TOO MUCH for others, when we put the needs of others ahead of our own.

Find out more in this sizzling interview between Dr. John Schinnerer, host of Guide To Self radio, and Amy, teacher, mother of three and recovering codependent (aren't we all?!).

More shows available at www.guidetoself.com. Dr. John Schinnerer may be reached for coaching and keynotes at (925) 944-3440.
Duration:29 minutes, 56 seconds


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Friday, January 06, 2006

Do you ever wonder how to be happy? What exactly is your purpose in life? What is success?

If so, you're in luck! Dr. John Schinnerer, host of Guide To Self radio, speaks out on the areas that he plans to teach to his newborn daughter, Molly (arrived on 12/31/05), so that she will live a happy and successful life.

EQ + IQ + RQ + SQ + PQ = Happiness.

Five areas of life to focus upon. Find out how now!

More shows available at www.Guidetoself.com. Dr. John is available for coaching and keynotes as time permits at (925) 944-3440.


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In this show, Dr. John Schinnerer, a psychologist out of U.C. Berkeley, coaches Katie towards a happier life in the first segment. In the second segment, he chats candidly about the fear and trepidation he felt with his first three children and the fact that his fear has been replaced with joy for his fourth child. Humorous and insightful stories. Photos of Molly may be seen at www.guidetoself.blogspot.com.

Guide To Self radio airs in the San Francisco Bay Area on KDIA 1640 AM Monday through Friday at 5 pm.

Over one hundred more shows are available at www.GuideToSelf.com.
Dr. John Schinnerer is available as time permits for coaching or keynotes at (925) 944-3440.


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Richmond City Manager, Bill Lindsay, speaks out on what the City is doing to halt the spread of city-wide violence. Bill touches on the city's relationships with Chevron, the need for residents to be part of the solution, funding for programs and more. A fantastic interview with a tremendous city manager. Dr. John Schinnerer hosts Guide To Self Radio which aired on 1-4-06 at 5 pm on KDIA 1640 AM in the San Francisco Bay Area. www.GuideToSelf.com. Contact Dr. John for coaching and keynotes at (925) 944-3440.


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My new daughter is here, Molly Marie!


Baby Molly Marie Schinnerer Arrives!
12/31/05
7 lbs. 6 oz.
19 3/4 inches

I want to tell you about my new baby girl, Molly.

Now there have a been a few theories which boil all our actions down to two primary motivating emotions – love and fear. While this is oversimplifying things, it’s a good starting point.

I’ve been married to my wife for fourteen years. When our first child was born ten years ago, I was terrified. I was sure I was going to break her somehow. This newborn baby seemed to me to be so delicate and light and fragile. To make matters worse, my first child was a girl. I didn’t know what to do with a girl. I wasn’t familiar with the hardware. How was I supposed to change a little girl’s diapers? So many anxious thoughts raced through my head. In fact, I was so anxious and fearful that I couldn’t enjoy the experience. Now keep in mind that this had nothing to do with my daughter. All of this was filtered through a fear-filled perception of the world. All of it was in my head.

My second child was a boy. I was thrilled yet still maintained that I was better with children older than 2 years of age. The reality is that I was scared to deal with a newborn.

Five years ago, we had a third child - also a boy. By the time you get to three children, much of the anxiety has passed. I was on the road to enjoying the experience. But things change when you have three children.

For instance,
When your first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

When your 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully wait and watch for the coin to pass.

When your 3rd child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!!

When the fourth child swallows a quarter, you ask for change, simply to see if it can be done!

I’ll give you another example,

The first time you leave your first baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times in two hours.

With the second child, you remember to leave your cell phone so you can be reached “in case of emergency”.

For the third child, you leave strict instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees freely flowing blood.

For the fourth child, the authorities extradite you and your wife from Las Vegas and book you for child neglect. (Relax, I'm joking!)

But, this time was different. A lot of things have changed since then, in particular my ability to calm down and simply enjoy life. My wife has always had a dream of having four children. I’ve always dreamt of being left alone when I go the bathroom. Apparently, some dreams take precedence over others.

Be that as it may, my wife and I have always vowed to support each other’s dreams. And so it was that last year I agreed to shoot for a fourth child, knowing full well that it could mean my spontaneous combustion if it came out a boy.

On December 31st, I found myself getting ready to go into the operating room for the fourth time, looking much like the Michelin Man in my sterile Doc Martin pj-lookin’ cover ups. I asked the doctor, “Am I still required to wear the hat even though I don’t have any hair?” No answer.

All of our children have been c-section, going back to the first child who was frank breech. So we knew this would be c-section as well. There’s no easy way out of pregnancy. Either you pay now or you pay later. Labor or recovery from surgery – there’s no easy way out.

And if you have ever been in the operatory during a c-section then you know, it’s a very surreal experience. My wife is there on the table with an epidural so she’s numb from the neck down. There is a blue sheet to prevent us from seeing what the doctors are actually doing. And you can talk to the head while watching the surgery take place on the other side of the screen. It’s like something out of Frankenstein. Fortunately, I didn’t faint during the sights, sounds and smells of the procedure. I cut the umbilical cord and shortly brought the baby to my wife in recovery.

And here’s the thing, the joy she felt from realizing a dream she had kept all her life, her joy was palpable. You could touch it. It filled the room. And her joy became my joy. And I’ve never been so relaxed around a baby as I have with Molly. I want to hold the baby. I want to gaze at the baby for hours. I don’t panic when the baby cries.

Before I came into the studio today, I asked my wife what her level of happiness with life was. She said, aside from the pain, it’s a 10. What’s yours? I said “It’s a 9.5.” Well there’s still a little bit of fear there. I’m still not sure how we’re ever going to afford four children. Yet, having four children seems to be what we were supposed to do. It fits with our values. It fits with our family. It fits with our dreams. So we just had our fourth child and I’ve never been happier.

Two more ways to know you have four children...

The Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

4th baby: The hospital takes pity on you and gives you handfuls of their pacifiers. Every pacifier is straight from the bag sterile.
---------------

The Diaper

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every ten minutes, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You change their diaper when your older children, or your guests, complain about the smell.

4th baby: You change the diaper when it sags to the floor. (Hey, the label said "Weight capacity: 10 lbs.!") Bonus points awarded for guilting guests into changing poopy diaper!

Anyway, back to Molly. Her face is simply angelic. I was gazing at her last night for an hour. How can it be so enthralling to sit and look at someone sleeping and breathing?! Yet, that's what I do. I sit and watch these microexpressions run across her face as she dreams. She smiles, looks concerned at times, downright afraid other times, and angry sometimes. And I wonder what she is dreaming about. She has no experience here on earth from which to draw, no experiences to dream about. Yet there is obviously a lot going on in her tiny little head. And it is absolutely amazing to behold.

I think newborns are the closest we come to God on earth. After all, they've been near Him most recently. And if that's the case, what can we learn from them?

Until next time,

Dr. John signing off.
Guide To Self

Guide To Self(C) 2006.